BOBO & MOMO
Posted on: 10 November 2006
- In: thoughts
- 15 Comments
Where does the week go? I can’t believe it’s Friday again, already…. so soon!
Well I have decided to turn a new leaf. You may recall the 7lbs I gained that I thought I would lose if our dearest Vincent D’Onofrio chose to become my *simcha buddy* … vacancy still vacant … well I didn’t lose it and the last month or so I have been on a sugar fix and having little drinkiepoos and gained yet another 10lbs. Truth be known I am underheight for my weight especially as I am only 5’0″ ~ so I am short, fat and ****
Lately my friends say, “You look well.” Huh, a euphemism for “You’ve put on weight.” Some actually say it to my face and then proceed to add, “We thought you were looking too gaunt.” BUT my bloody clothes don’t fit and I had to succumb and buy the next size in jeans… bad move! On the other hand, the wrinkles are filled out.
The engagement party is in four weeks and I am limiting myself to one square of good dark chocolate a day… can’t give up totally and I shall be T-Total… not that I’m a lush you understand… it only takes one.
Also while I’m trying to be good, am going to make an effort to take my medication every day (don’t ask ~ nothing that will get me in the end ~ unless I don’t take it… hmm) and try to wean myself off the old caffeine… who knows if not a butterfly, maybe at least a moth will emerge from this nicely rounded pupa of a body.
So on that note a few fat jokes to keep me on the straight and, hopefully, narrow.
She’s got a million dollar figure ~ unfortunately it’s all in loose change
The best way to lose weight is to stuff your face while standing naked in front of a mirror ~ the restaurant will sling you out before you can swallow one bite
They say that travel broadens one ~ you must have been around the world
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live for ever
A woman sits opposite a man on a bus and can’t resist commenting… “If that stomach was on a woman I’d think she was pregnant.” The fat man replies, “It was, she is!”
A balanced diet is chocolate in each hand (if only)
She’s a light eater ~ when it gets light she starts eating
Warning ~ this one’s rude. An obese woman goes to a doctor to be put on a drastic weight loss programme. The doctor tells her she can eat anything she likes but the food must be inserted up her a***. The woman agrees and four weeks later comes back for a check up. The doctor is very pleased with her progress but is concerned that her hips keep twitching constantly. “When did the hip twitching start?” asks the doctor.” I’m not twitching,” replies the woman, “I’m chewing gum.”
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L-rd, if you can’t make me skinny, please make all my friends fat (my ab fab fav)
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Wishing you all a lovely weekend and Shabbat Shalom… and no, I do not diet on Friday night!
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P.S. After a couple of angst ridden rhymes this week (sorry that was how I felt when I wrote and posted them) today I have posted something a little lighter here and a love quote there
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15 Responses to "BOBO & MOMO"
2 | The Rev. Dr. Kate
10 November 2006 at 14:16
It wouldn’t be Friday without the babies – they are just so adorable!
We love you whatever size you come in (said as I am desperately figuring out how to shed the 7 lbs I gained this past month!)Shabbat Shalom!
Love, Kate
3 | samuru999
10 November 2006 at 15:02
Oh, those precious little faces made me smile!
They are soooo beautiful!
love your jokes!
Shabbat Shalom…
and have a wonderful weekend!
Margie:)
4 | JoJo
10 November 2006 at 16:53
Ann – great jokes again! I love the one about the chewing gum. Love the pics of the babies, esp. the last one. They look so snug!
I’m only 5’1″ and come from a short, stocky Italian family. I had genetics working against me from day 1. Fortunately my hubby loves the curves and softness.
Why oh why are women made to feel “guilty” when they eat? Why do we always say, “No, I can’t have that, I’m trying to be good.” Have you ever heard a man say that?
Have a wonderful weekend!
XOXOXO
5 | Val
10 November 2006 at 17:14
My fave AbFab is when Eddie says to her mother, “Inside me there’s a slim woman struggling to get out”. Mother replies, “Only one, dear?”
6 | ann
10 November 2006 at 17:18
Thank you everyone for your sweet comments.
LOL Val… June Whitfield at her best… so who are you, Patsy or Eddie?
7 | gorenlust
10 November 2006 at 20:42
Not wanting to invade your privacy Ann, but! I’ve been concerned all day about your medication- tell me you’re ok? The question comes from concern and not nosey-ness!:)
A lovely weekend to you-
Alex
(can you imagine my thrill when Goren calls Eames by her given name?! LOL!!!)
8 | ann
10 November 2006 at 23:41
Alex: you jammie thing! I’ve only heard Goren say my name in one epi… sadly one I don’t even like… where the victim’s name is ann. He said it at least 20 times.
Thanks for being concerned, but I’m okay…
lotsa luv ann xxxx
9 | DNY LOVES CRIMINAL MINDS
11 November 2006 at 01:32
My darling Boaz and our littlest princess brighten my days. Thank you for posting their pictures. 🙂
10 | Val
11 November 2006 at 15:22
Sadly, Ann, I’m Eddie.
This post has made it into the VDO Google Alerts!
12 | pinky
12 November 2006 at 01:15
Boy did I need this! I’ve been on the “You look well” train, too and I’m ready to get off! But, chocolate loves me and I don’t want to hurt it’s feelings. 😉
Love the jokes and glad you stopped by. I’ll be seeing you more often. HUGS!
15 | G
13 November 2006 at 17:03
Don’t do this to me – poting these beautiful babies of yours that I just want to scoop up and rock!
Well, I too have these extra few that keep sneaking on and they don’t seem to sneak off. Maybe we could support each other. A little square of chocolate and splurge on Shabbat? That sounds reasonable. I’ve got to do something. I leave here with a firm resolve (especially after reading your post before). xox ~ G
PS: You’re too funny with the jokes.
at home with ann 
10 November 2006 at 13:52
Good Morning sweet girl! Thanks for sharing your pictures…they are so very sweet! 🙂 I’m a sucker for little people! Don’t you love tubby time? – love your jokes! I’m off to check your other postings- have a lovely day!