at home with ann


Posted on: 6 December 2006

Good morning fellow campers… sorry, bloggers…

Thank you Deb for sending me this most wonderful gift… I’ve set it as my background and I am thrilled with it. I love it, love it, love it. I saw the lovely Mandy one you did for Jill too.

Thank you Madd for tagging me… hmmmm… thank you indeed said with tongue embedded in cheek. Madd wants to know six weird things about me; only six and then I got to thinking, well what is considered weird and what isn’t? We all have our idiosyncrasies; those things that make us who we are. Of course we are all different… life would be so boring if we were all the same, but acceptance of our differences is another story…

Last week two friends were attacked. My eyes were opened firstly by rantings vitriolic and venomous in the name of religion and secondly in the name of sensitiveness rather than sensitivity. Hatred was rampant in blogdom. I have learnt over my many years that when people say they are sensitive and easily hurt, they are really sensitive to their own feelings, but have no thoughts of anyone elses or the damage they cause.

Even my kneejerk reaction was to say how sorry I was someone was hurt and the person who did the supposed hurting should be ashamed. I was wrong. Nobody did anything to anybody other than live their life honestly and openly and they were attacked for it.

I have spoken before a long time ago on a dear friend’s blog… a young black girl who is converting to Judaism and I used to do a Friday slot for her. I once spoke about the following, which I have lifted from this link. Here is the Jewish stance on the harm words do.

The Power of Speech: Judaism is intensely aware of the power of speech and of the harm that can be done through speech. The rabbis note that the universe itself was created through speech. Of the 43 sins enumerated in the Al Chet confession recited on Yom Kippur, 11 are sins committed through speech. The Talmud tells that the tongue is an instrument so dangerous that it must be kept hidden from view, behind two protective walls (the mouth and teeth) to prevent its misuse. The harm done by speech is even worse than the harm done by stealing or by cheating someone financially, because amends can be made for monetary harms, but the harm done by speech can never be repaired. For this reason, some sources indicate that there is no forgiveness for lashon ha-ra (disparaging speech).”

“A Chasidic tale illustrates this point: A man went about the community telling malicious lies about the rabbi. Later, he realized the wrong he had done, and began to feel remorse. He went to the rabbi and begged his forgiveness, saying he would do anything he could to make amends. The rabbi told the man, “Take a feather pillow, cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the winds.” The man thought this was a strange request, but it was a simple enough task, and he did it gladly. When he returned to tell the rabbi that he had done it, the rabbi said, “Now, go and gather the feathers. Because you can no more make amends for the damage your words have done than you can recollect the feathers.”

“Speech has been compared to an arrow: once the words are released, like an arrow, they cannot be recalled, the harm they do cannot be stopped, and the harm they do cannot always be predicted, for words like arrows often go astray.”

My friends despair of me because I really do hate gossip. I try so hard to avoid it. I feel if they talk about someone else to me, then they can just as easily be talking about me to someone else and I know I won’t like it. It really is a very very hard law to observe; it is one that I am well and truly aware of and I know I am guilty as the next person when sometimes I break it.

One of my “annisms” is if you can’t say something good, then say nothing.

Right back to Madd’s tagging… in as few words as possible, since I have already gone on somewhat.

  1. I do not open my mail… usually to my cost!
  2. I drag my heels about going to bed… I’m like a child!
  3. I eat chocolate at midnight… should’ve gone to bed earlier, shouldn’t I?
  4. I don’t eat breakfast… don’t usually think about food till midday. Probably because I eat chocolate at midnight! (Gosh is that the time already, no wonder I’m hungry)!
  5. I will not leave the house without wearing make up or matching lingerie (actually even if I’m not going out)… not sure that one is weird or very normal… hmmmm?
  6. I don’t like the feel of a peach skin
  7. there are more…. but thank goodness only six were requested… thanks again Madd…. huh!

I’m supposed to tag six more people, but I know you’re all perfect. If anyone feels they have six weird things they would like to share, be my guest.


Just had a guy round to sort something on Rachel’s new laptop, so he’s played around with this computer too…. let’s just say everything looks different and as blogdom’s biggest computer incompetent I feel rather intimidated when things look different… although everything that looks different looks quite nice. So thought I would see if a pic of me could actually look quite nice… nah, still eeeeeek worthy. I know Channukah is a time for celebrating miracles, but that would take more than a miracle… LOL




First of all, love the calendar. I am very moved by your words today. I feel that I have always been supportive of others in their journeys; but it is their journeys that they are on. Who am I to offer advice?

Words, yes words Ann. We have shared many, and will continue to share more. But we are friends, true friends.

I still would like a picture of you.

L & S

You sent me to this website awhile back on this exact subject and I remembered how much I learned reading your post. Christians also believe in the power of words – and the power to Name. It is a hard thing to watch one’s speech, but the rabbis are right about the damage and the impossibility of recalling those words once they have left the mouth.
I won’t share my idiocycracies – you don’t have that much time in your life! – but I will just say I don’t eat breakfast either!

Brian: From experience I have learnt that nobody really wants advice unless they ask for it. You offer support which is wonderful and if it’s a two way thing, then it’s even better.

We have shared many words; I like talking to you, but I’ve told you before Brian, once you see a pic of me you may not want to talk to me again… LOL

Kate: I think I sent you to that link from something written by you. If I remember correctly someone wrote the saying about ‘sticks and stones…. words will never hurt me.’

I’m not sure my list was about weird things or my weaknesses.

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

What an excellent tale and quote you sent. It’s great advice!

Words DO hurt, and one needs to think before speaking. I know I’ve said many a thing I couldn’t take back, and people have hurt me terribly w/ things they have said too.

Working in an office, there’s a lot of gossip. Not so much in the small office, but where I worked in SF, everyone talked about everyone behind their backs. It was a very dysfunctional & toxic place to be.

I loved your list of idiosyncracies (sp?)!!

Love, JoJo

Hi Weird Ann!!!

I think I am going to be doing my list on Friday. I don’t of myself as weird, but some of the things I like, well?

Anyway, I hope your day went smoothly and the readings helped. I know that I read with great interest.

Sassy Dewy


DK: I’ll just have to be patient till Friday then… LOL

I need to read more… a lot more; something I read was very very close to home.

hope your day’s been a good one.

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

So when are you going to write 6 weird things about you? I only saw 6 normal things.

Ann..your post today is so very full of life lessons..ones we all well at least I need to work everyday..words can be the deadliest form of abuse, bruises heal but words scar, can scar for life, they are the invisible wounds that no one sees and yet may never ever heal in a lifetime..I have always thought the tongue is the most dangerous weapon there is..and yet it is welded most indiscriminately of all. As for your six weirds..well these are six of the very things that make you Ann..! I loved the not going to bed one..I am so glad I have often wondered if I was the only adult out there that fought against going to bed as if I were still a so it is nice to know that I’m not..:)take care sweetie..luv ya ..m

Something once spoken cannot be unsaid. I’ve no idea if I read that, or heared it somewhere, but I try and live by it! I can only see ‘normal’ in your 6 things too Ann (except I’d never dream of wearing more than the smallest hint of make-up, and I often go out ‘bare-faced’ – no wonder I’m single!!!)

Val: there’s plenty of things my family think are weird about me.

Madd: does eating palm hearts everyday out of the can count for weird?

Diane, I have to wear makeup otherwise I will scare little children… LOL

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

Great post Ann! Total agreement…

“Think before you say or do:
Is is true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?”

Those six things were most definitely not weird!! You sound like one of the more normal people I know– wish more people were like you…
only another day before I have to return to reality. I’m lucky to have had this break.

Oh wow! I love this card Ann!!! Keep this site on top!!!

Hate crimes of any type appall me! Hope your friends are OK. There is nothing quite like chocolate at midnight – I am on my 4th week without sugar, am PMS and am really ready to beat someone silly!!!

Claire: glad you’re having fun… take it there’s been no sightings!

Anon: cool isn’t it? I love it.

Tammy: glad there’s a few thousand miles between us…. ouch!

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

Did you know there’s a Goren street in Tel Aviv?

Very sorry to hear about your friends being hurt. I hope they have a better Hanukkah.

Hanukkah is very low key here… haven’t heard or seen a thing about it. I did however run into some Xmas trees in a Russian store today, although maybe they were Hanukkah bushes 🙂

hey ann,

i really respect you for always trying to not talk about other people behind their back. i truly hate gossip, but i know that it’s hard to avoid when everyone around you starts talking about others, espescially at work.
it’s true that words can actually hurt you more than physical violence. that’s one of the reasons why i don’t like to be around too much people in my everyday life. no people, no talk. just crawling back into my little shell, it’s cosy in there.

Finn: Hmmmm…. Rechov Hagoren… did you know the word means ‘threshing floor’ I’m looking forward to being in hotels over Channukah. There’s usually communal candle lighting in the lobby then dancing and drinks and donuts… shame I don’t like donuts. Also whenever I’ve been in Eilat, there’s been Christmas trees in the hotels there, but as you know not all the tourists in Israel are Jewish… lots of Christians go over Christmas.

Tamara: I’m lucky at work, because there are so few of us and we all like each other. I don’t have to talk about the boss behind his back if he’s being a bit naughty… I tell him straight up… LOL

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

Happy Hannukah to you Ann and your family. :o)

So sorry for whatever happened.

Afternoon Ann,

This is my last day of work this week, off on Friday!!! Whee!!!

I’ll be able to finally answer all those pesky e-mails this weekend…wonder who I should start with?

L & S

Words are full of power for the communities I have my feet in…Gnostic (modern) and Pagan.They are more powerful than you could ever think and can bind as tight as any rope.

I had something that happened to a friend this week around words.Her fiance used words (and his knowledge of her) to cause pain for her concerning people who love her,me specifically
and her

horrible childhood.

Now,I hope she has never doubted my loyalty (since the age of 7) as her friend.Granted there was a time (6months) that we did not speak…but that is between us and he knows nothing of it (he THINKS he does).He thinks “perfection” in relationships makes them the best but he doesn’t realize that adversity makes ties stronger.

Now his words I have had to try to soothe for her and myself.I am not angry with him,because all that matters to me is her knowledge of my love and loyalty.But now I know (through his powerful words) that I cannot trust him.

It also tells me he has no true understanding of female friendships and the emotional intimacy within them.

So,yes words are powerful in the negative but equally as powerful in the positive (in my spiritual path).

I will work on putting some of my poetry on my blog.I forget the blog address but Axe has a link to it as “Bryde’s Blog” or something like that.

Brian…. stop wondering; there is only one correct answer!

Bryde… I can get to you via your comment; I look forward to reading your work.

Trinitystar: thank you

lotsa luv ann xxxxx

Hi Ann,

I was just reading about the tornado damage in North London today. They said that England has the most tornadoes per land area in the world.

Very strange.

Hope your evening is going well.

Ann…just checking in to say Hi…see how you are..loved the story you sent me..take care sweetie..m

I love that tale of the feathers and have shared it often. Loshen hara is just not nice.

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the loves of my life

at the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet ~~~ plato

thank you…

... to everyone whose pictures and videos I have borrowed; if anyone would like theirs to be removed, please tell me and I shall be happy to do so

all words here are mine ~ I’ll tell you when they’re not!

from long ago

in case I forget what day of the week it is

December 2006
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