at home with ann

A Bridge in Time

Posted on: 9 November 2007

I must say I am feeling rather comfy and cosy here and as JoJo rightly pointed out, it does seem a little more spacious and I also think it’s a little easier on the eyes.   Thank you also Axe for quoting the awesome Bon Jovi, Welcome to wherever you are.  I hope you’re all happy and contented wherever you are, but somehow, reading between the lines, I don’t think everyone is.

Which kinda neatly brings me to this thought, which kinda follows my post on Dreams a little while back when I said how much I admired, and I truly truly do, those who have the guts and backbone to follow their dream, irrespective of failure or success, their true goal to live without the regret of never trying.

In that post I mentioned responsibility, not from the perspective of being in authority or being accountable for one’s actions, but because of ‘the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force‘ i.e. the context of duty, care and obligation.   This plays on my mind considerably and constantly and it was further brought home to me today during a long telephone conversation with my closest friend since childhood.

The point is are we meant to be where we are?  Is there a reason or purpose to be where we are?  How is it possible to be where we think we should be when we cannot solely think about ourselves alone, when we have others in our lives to consider, others who need us?   Can we travel a dream alone with good conscience and leave our responsibilities behind?

 

responsibility2.gif

 

In middle-age I found myself unexpectedly on my own, but hey, c’est la vie in today’s disposable society.  I am perplexed that so many people I know are jealous of my so-called freedom, my enforced freedom.   It’s strange that others think the grass is greener when my world was turned upside down and all they can see is how great it must be not to have to iron his shirts, to wash his smelly socks, to clean his dirty loo, that I can come and go as I please and answer to no one, and the ab fab fav is that I don’t have to put up with the snoring…  oh pleeeeeeeeeease!!!

Being alone has not absolved me of responsibility, particularly filial, parental and financial. If anything it has increased since they say a problem shared is a problem halved; sometimes it feels a problem alone is a problem doubled… and being on one’s own does not afford me the luxury of freedom, whatever that really means.  No man is an island and even with freewill and all the best will in the world, most of us are not free of those restrictions that confine us no matter how tempting it would be to walk away.  

Believe me this post is not intended to moan and bewail my fate or to rave and rant… I think that by putting it in black and white I’m justifying  to myself why I am where I am today but… none of us knows what tomorrow will bring and that is really where our hopes and dreams belong, in the future and  wherever you are right now, may your hopes and dreams come true.  

With all my love and best wishes for a lovely weekend wherever you are.

 

*********************

 

We had been walking along the Thames on a typical grey cloudy day and I kept wandering off to peer wistfully into the water, maybe looking for a revelation; a few days on and we saw the awesome Les Miserables and Javert’s suicide, when he threw himself over the bridge into the swirling waters below.   Together these two events inspired me to write the following.

 

A Bridge in Time

Dark inviting ripples river

Gently sways hypnotic swell

Beckons sundown’s shady waves

Suspends mist chilling air

Spawns a ghostly atmosphere

Long buried feelings there

 

Across bridge stone cold

Fingers stretch waters touch

Inching ever closer edge

Not tonight ebbing tide

Tumbles over sodden sand

Inpulse foiled end denied

 

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12 Responses to "A Bridge in Time"

It’s the ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome at work. Dearest Ann, you may yet find a partner. I have a high maintanence husband, so I’m probably one who would envy your freedom. Yet I definitely understand what you are saying and hopefully would not be as insensitive. You still have a lot of responsibilities that must be attended to.

You hit on something I have also been thinking about lately. With my moms surgery I have had so many people say ‘How could you let her, at her age” as if in the first place I have control over her an in the second place a woman ‘of a certain age’ should not what to be able to walk and get around on her own. My mom has had a good life and she has worked hard in it. Why would her age stop that? I hope my choices and the uncontrollable events in my life lead me down as interesting and fulfilling a path as hers has and that I live it till I die:)

Author Robert Fulgham (“All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”) that, at the end of workshops and the like, if the presenter asked “Are there any other questions?”, he would ask this: “What is the purpose of life?”

Ann, that question seems to encompass this post. I, too, admire “those who have the guts and backbone to follow their dream, irrespective of failure or success,” for they, at least, have some sense of where they are going. I don’t believe many people have that awareness; rather, they rock and roll with the tides, one day perhaps desiring what they understand is your freedom, the next being thankful for the security of their own perceived bondage.

That thought brings me to what you wrote about responsibility. The graphic of the guy climbing the upward road carrying the rock of responsibility of course reminds me of the myth of Sisyphus and his never ending burden (responsibility?) of carrying that boulder up the mountain only to see it roll back down again.

I suppose we could say that Sisyphus had his purpose in life, but that purpose was probably not his dream. Camus suggested that Sisyphus’ dream was that eventually the boulder would remain on the mountain and he’d not have to retrieve it again. If that dream were ever realized, then Sisyphus would undoubtedly not have remained on the mountain but moved on to a new dream.

I believe that wherever we are at any given moment of our lives is exactly where we’re supposed to be. Bewailing circumstances or karma that brought us to this moment is useless. The only real question can be: “Where do we go from here.”

I apologize for my verbosity.

I have just had a browse around your new place and in particular your poems which are outstanding.
My philosophy has had to be pretty much, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Boy, have I made gallons of the stuff, Schweppes eat your heart out! I am fortunate in that I have no children to worry about but I am far from free to live as I wish.
At least I have a roof, food and clean water. We are each in our own prison, our own circle of hell. How much we compromise ourselves is perhaps the only freedom we have.

Is the grass is ever truly greener on the other side?

I doubt it.

Rather, it is just another experience, varied and complicated.

I love your new home! Peace and love, JP/deb

Love the video, I’d never heard Elvis sing that before.

Ah, the poem. Running water has a pull on us, it beckons and whispers of better things, dip your toes, wet your fingers, it’s safe in here.

I was talking to Diane on the way down here that we are linked now by quantum ghosts. I for one understand… all too well do I understand.

Love you

L & S

Well, there’s a surprise.

Both the main towers of strength of my personal bridge (Elvis and Vincent) at Ann’s new home! My friend Michelle hates this song; unless Elvis sings it :0)

I just wish people could tell the difference between being ‘alone’ and being ‘lonely’.

New sites looking good there Ann!

‘grass is always greener’ such BS.

Water can hypnotize me, too bad I live in the near desert.

Thank you for looking after our friends Brian and Diane while they visited you in Europe!

You’re right, Diane. I am alone, but far from lonely. I actually get uncomfortable sometimes when people intrude into my little world. Yet I’m a gregarious person by nature.

So are you, Ann, which is why we love to visit you.

Ann you may yet meet the man of your dreams! Don’t give up! And I’ve learned from personal experience that the grass is never greener on the other side. Unless the grass is growing over a septic tank. One’s life is what one makes of it. And you have a wonderful life full of friends, the arts, music, amazing Jewish cooking and a lovely family!

Ann, such wise thoughts and words. I have a huge banner in my hallway and each morning I read it out loud,
Life is not a race,
but a journey to be savoured, each step of the way.
Yesterday is history
tomorrow is a mystery
and today is a gift….

again wise words. queenie

Ann, I’m a bit speechless from this one girl, your thoughts your words go deep.
Is the grass greener on the other side?
– I doubt it.

Thanks for Elvis! You don’t know but he was my very first love, yes, still love ‘m.

lots of luv.
Liz

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the loves of my life

at the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet ~~~ plato

thank you…

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all words here are mine ~ I’ll tell you when they’re not!

from long ago

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