A Bridge in Time
Posted 9 November 2007on:
I must say I am feeling rather comfy and cosy here and as JoJo rightly pointed out, it does seem a little more spacious and I also think it’s a little easier on the eyes. Thank you also Axe for quoting the awesome Bon Jovi, Welcome to wherever you are. I hope you’re all happy and contented wherever you are, but somehow, reading between the lines, I don’t think everyone is.
Which kinda neatly brings me to this thought, which kinda follows my post on Dreams a little while back when I said how much I admired, and I truly truly do, those who have the guts and backbone to follow their dream, irrespective of failure or success, their true goal to live without the regret of never trying.
In that post I mentioned responsibility, not from the perspective of being in authority or being accountable for one’s actions, but because of ‘the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force‘ i.e. the context of duty, care and obligation. This plays on my mind considerably and constantly and it was further brought home to me today during a long telephone conversation with my closest friend since childhood.
The point is are we meant to be where we are? Is there a reason or purpose to be where we are? How is it possible to be where we think we should be when we cannot solely think about ourselves alone, when we have others in our lives to consider, others who need us? Can we travel a dream alone with good conscience and leave our responsibilities behind?
In middle-age I found myself unexpectedly on my own, but hey, c’est la vie in today’s disposable society. I am perplexed that so many people I know are jealous of my so-called freedom, my enforced freedom. It’s strange that others think the grass is greener when my world was turned upside down and all they can see is how great it must be not to have to iron his shirts, to wash his smelly socks, to clean his dirty loo, that I can come and go as I please and answer to no one, and the ab fab fav is that I don’t have to put up with the snoring… oh pleeeeeeeeeease!!!
Being alone has not absolved me of responsibility, particularly filial, parental and financial. If anything it has increased since they say a problem shared is a problem halved; sometimes it feels a problem alone is a problem doubled… and being on one’s own does not afford me the luxury of freedom, whatever that really means. No man is an island and even with freewill and all the best will in the world, most of us are not free of those restrictions that confine us no matter how tempting it would be to walk away.
Believe me this post is not intended to moan and bewail my fate or to rave and rant… I think that by putting it in black and white I’m justifying to myself why I am where I am today but… none of us knows what tomorrow will bring and that is really where our hopes and dreams belong, in the future and wherever you are right now, may your hopes and dreams come true.
With all my love and best wishes for a lovely weekend wherever you are.
We had been walking along the Thames on a typical grey cloudy day and I kept wandering off to peer wistfully into the water, maybe looking for a revelation; a few days on and we saw the awesome Les Miserables and Javert’s suicide, when he threw himself over the bridge into the swirling waters below. Together these two events inspired me to write the following.
A Bridge in Time
Dark inviting ripples river
Gently sways hypnotic swell
Beckons sundown’s shady waves
Suspends mist chilling air
Spawns a ghostly atmosphere
Long buried feelings there
Across bridge stone cold
Fingers stretch waters touch
Inching ever closer edge
Not tonight ebbing tide
Tumbles over sodden sand
Inpulse foiled end denied