Excuses, excuses

Posted by: ann on: 25 January 2008

• In: thoughts
• 26 Comments

One of my many blogging intentions was to extend my book club reading group to fellow bloggers.  Last month’s book offering was by Frank McCourt.  His amazing debut novel was Angela’s Ashes about his miserable and impoverished childhood in Ireland; his second not quite so amazing book was ‘Tis about his early years in America and his third book Teacher Man is more like  an arrogant anecdotal account of how he broadly educated his students rather than actually ‘teach’ them following the  school’s set curriculum. 

He feels he was a fraud standing before his students; he was terrified of them, so he got by for 30 years telling stories of his life, although advised never to let the kids know your personal life.   Although the book got a general thumbs down from my friends, it was not an out and out ‘hate it’ review, it just wasn’t a page turner.   One particular amusing highlight of the book though was when he’d kept his students’ excuse notes in his desk drawer; they were obviously not written by their  parents.  One day he read these amazing letters out to the class to illustrate their creative ability thus encouraging them to write freely; he then got them to write excuse notes from Adam and Eve to G-d.  He wanted to broaden their intellect and teach them to think.  He didn’t actually write his first book until he was 66.

Well, I think this kinda leads nicely to my excuse note for my absence here and at your places. 

An  engagement party does not get organised by itself!   I’m pleased to say it’s all sorted, the venue found (menu still to be discussed) the invitations chosen, printed, collected, written and posted and so the phone hasn’t stopped ringing with replies… it is now only two weeks away.

Rach and I also spent the last two Sundays  looking for THE dress.  Oh my word… we had a great time.   It was amazingly easy to eliminate what didn’t suit so we could work out “what not to wear” but when she put on THE ONE she looked like a princess.    I thought I was gonna cry, but surprisingly I didn’t.  This particular shop is local to her and they especially opened on a Sunday for her and will especially open late for her fittings.   (She works in the City in banking… long hours blah blah blah).  Rachel, bless her,  is no shrinking violet and she will look stunning.   I thought that since the name of the make of the gown is Hollywood Dreams it came from the States, but actually the owner of the bridal shop is the designer and she makes them.  It takes about eight months, so should be ready just in time, not that we’ve actually sorted the wedding yet, but we’re looking at the beginning of September.  We have met up with the wedding planner and sorted dates in February to go look at venues… I’m getting quite excited.

Last Sunday was very successful for madame; she also bought a lovely dress for her engagement party and a little something for another party next week and a rather nice pair of shoes.   All in all a good day.   Since there was no time for moi, I took a few hours out for myself during the week.   I have three functions over the next three weekends and of course it’s the same lame cry, “I’ve got nothing to wear.”    Three outfits later (the shoe shopping will be this week) I don’t know which one to wear for which party.   Such problems… if only they were my biggest.  Oy, you should only know!

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Two weeks ago I got persuaded by a rather persuasive friend who rather forcibly yanked my credit card from my wallet and made me, yes she made me do it, she made me register with an online dating thingy.   My kids had posted a profile a few years ago, but I had never activated the darn subscription… now I’m on for six months.  It has been quite an experience and I can’t say I’ve particularly enjoyed it so far.  

Men are funny creatures!  

Wait, I’ll qualify that statement.  

British men are funny creatures!

Hold on… no

Jewish British men are funny creatures!  It is Jewish online dating!

Why oh why am I getting so many 31 year olds contacting me?   I really have no problem being with a younger man, but my No.1 son will be 31 in a couple of months!   I maintain that as long as I’m not old enough to be their mother, then that’s okay, but I do draw the line there.   However, when I get the email that says “we have a match for you” and there are about 200-300 of them, they can’t really believe they could all be possible matches.    Trust me please, you have to believe me, their mugshots  photographs would make anyone run a mile, or two, or three. 

One guy contacted me; when I read his profile he’d only copied mine.  Others who’ve emailed or im’ed live miles and miles and miles away, like as far north as you can possibly get or on a remote island somewhere.    Another guy kept calling and I couldn’t get off the phone… he said he’d never talked to anyone like me before and he’d fallen in like with me and couldn’t wait to meet me (oh please).  I guess that was until he found someone else to sweet talk because I haven’t heard another word… thank goodness.   

I have to admit I’m rather relieved; he unnerved me and I think I told him way too much… he was clever!   Yet another one is desperate to get married.  Now that really frightened me off  and it got me thinking hard and deeply about what I really want and I’m not sure that marriage is the answer to my needs.   I guess I’ve come to enjoy my freedom and not having to answer to anyone and not having to wash smelly socks and not ironing endless shirts and eating what I like when I like and not spending an evening with a man who simply does not know what to watch on the box so monopolises the remote control and zapps and zapps all night, then rolls over, falls asleep and snores on the couch until you change the prog… the funny thing is they wake up then and say they were watching that; how do they do that?   

I suppose all that’s wanted is to meet someone who will take you out to dinner/theatre/concerts etc with some great conversation thrown in and maybe a… a… good kisser and… and… hmmm… is that too much to ask?   Yeah, a simcha buddy!  Vacancy not yet filled.

Interestingly this site covers the whole wide world.   Having an inquisitive bent, I looked at the American men.   WOW!!!!   They really know how to present themselves.   They all scrubbed up well; they were gorgeous and their profiles articulate.  What is wrong with you Brits????   Yuck yuck and double yuck!!!!

However, I shouldn’t dismiss it out of hand totally because I have heard of some success stories; I wonder what the ratio is to the NOT success stories… hmmmm!

Oh oh oh… this is a good one.   Last Friday Jamie popped round to see me as a new “we have matches for you” blah blah popped up.  I opened it in front of him and we both freaked out… there was a pic of the cutest bearded guy who was a dead ringer of a bearded Vincent at the POTC premiere.   Of course I had to send this gorgeous guy an email…

… he hasn’t opened it… doh!!!!!

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Thank goodness for music and Vincent D’Onofrio; they never let me down.

Did anyone get to see Take That in concert?   Boo hoo, I missed it, but I did see James Blunt a couple of weeks ago.   I know he’s not to everyone’s taste, but the Hammersmith Apollo was pretty chocka and I was astounded at the number of guys there.  I honestly didn’t believe men liked that sort of music.   Of course I knew every word and sang along… okay I can’t really sing a note, but no one seemed to notice.   He’s only released two albums and every track’s a winner.  

My current ab fab fav song is Take That’s Rule the World.  It comes from the film Stardust which was perfect viewing on a recent flight… not sure I would have felt the same if I’d coughed up some dosh to see it at the flicks.   I don’t know about you, but if  I wake up to the radio playing one of my fav songs, it sets me up beautifully for the day.  I think a video of Vincent D’Onofrio to this track would be magical… hint hint!   That man sure lights up the sky above me and the ground beneath me and the world around me…

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Another ab fab fav of mine is an old one, Iris, and lo and behold surfing YouTube I found this brilliant video by Jenn of Vincent/Bobby to the Goo Goo Dolls… Jenn it’s fantastic, thank you.

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I cannot leave without wishing my ab fab fav little man Boaz

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTEK… GWAN’MA LOVES YOU SO MUCH… xxxxxx

He was three this week and I’ll be with him again in just three weeks time.  See the pile of clothes he’s carrying… that’s what I took out last month when I was there (and a holdall filled with toys).  He had to try the whole lot on and look at himself in the mirror… quite the little poser.  This trip I am travelling light!

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I have a long lazy day ahead of me tomorrow, but a frenetic one on Sunday.  I should read next month’s book, We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver; does anyone know it?    I’m also gonna try and come by and say hello to you all.   I just don’t know how so many of you manage to post every single day.  I feel really virtuous when I manage to visit everyone and put up more than one post a month; a bit like how I felt earlier this week when I cleared up six months worth of paperwork.  Well I had to find the paying in slip for the taxman!   Curiously I checked my online bank account this morning; Mr Taxman did not waste a minute banking it!

The best laugh I had this week… NOT… was when I opened a letter on Wednesday 23 January dated Monday 21 January telling me how well a little investment I had was doing and that it would mature two years early and then on Tuesday 22 January the bottom went out of the Stock Market thanks to a greedy little Frenchman… huh!  C’est la vie; guess I’ll have to wait another two years!  

Think I’ve prattled and rambled long enough… I hope you and yours all have a terrific weekend and Shabbat Shalom.

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