at home with ann

Archive for February 2008

Saturday, February 9, 2008

libra

ann

A phone call or e-mail from an acquaintance you barely know may make you think things are headed in a direction towards passion. But consider that this person may have designs on something you possess rather than on you

… following on from my last post… say no more ūüė¶

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This is a real quickie…

First off the party was sensational; I couldn’t have asked for more.¬† It was classy and elegant, the service was excellent and the food was absolutely amazing; it was plentiful and scrumptious¬†and the champagne flowed all night.¬† I would love to go into more detail but I just don’t have the time.¬† Still, everyone had an ab brill time… hopefully there will be pics but not just yet because….

… chaos should be my middle name.¬† I¬†have just had to change my flight to go to Israel¬†tomorrow instead of Sunday and I’m running around like a… whatever.¬†¬† My daughter-in-law¬†is in the hospital; she has contracted meningitis.¬† She is very sick, very weak¬†and in a lot of pain from the lumbar puncture¬†and she said to Jonathan, “I want your mother here.”¬† Please G-d she will make a complete recovery, but it will take time and she needs a lot of help,¬†so I’ll be gone for at least two weeks, maybe longer.

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Some Bon Jovi, although this song doesn’t really¬†fit in with this post as well as the one below; I just happen to like it even though it makes me cry.

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Tomorrow night is the engagement party… woooooo hoooooo.¬†¬† Of course I’m worried that there won’t¬†be¬†enough food and that everyone has a really great time… which means I haven’t lost an ounce this week because what do I do when I worry?¬† Yes, I stuff my fat face!¬†

We’re taking over a restaurant in North London and there’s about 200 guests.¬† It will be a champagne reception and a hot roving reception with a mezze buffet and later a dessert buffet… I shall report back after the event.¬†¬† ¬†

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The book club meeting came and went and this gruesome, horrific,¬†ghastly book lent itself to much¬†deep discussion.¬†¬† It certainly had a profound affect on me and I think I was one of the few who didn’t have the stomach to finish it.¬†¬† The writing was brilliantly executed (excuse the pun) but the subject matter was not for the fainthearted.¬†¬† It seems that the book was highly recommended to mothers by their single childless daughters who thought it was absolutely amazing, but obviously their mothers viewed it differently, albeit still appreciating the writing.¬†¬† For the majority it is compulsive reading, but I’m a wimp and cried off half-way.

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I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this internet dating lark.¬†¬† Not one man has actually¬†rang me themselves, although I have spoken to several because they give me their numbers and ask me to call them.¬†¬† Things are so different today.¬† ¬†I giggle at some of their questions, not because they are funny but¬†because, in truth they make me nervous and uncomfortable.¬†¬†¬†There is a general assumption that because I am divorced my husband was¬†not GIB¬†and that I’m gagging for it!¬† Or, if I’m not is there something wrong with my libido?¬†¬† It kinda puts them off their stroke when I say that was never the problem, so they change tack and assume I must be one hot lady and they then try to establish how long it’s actually been since I¬†you know what¬†and how many men I’ve¬†been with¬†since ‘D’ day, oh and how many men have contacted me since I joined this hateful thing.

One gentleman, Mr X, no that’s the wrong word, he was no gentleman, wanted to know about my beauty regime, like did I have manicures and pedicures, oh and were my nails bright red or white tipped, did I have facials and treatments?¬†¬† Naively I started to answer him then stopped myself and asked him most politely what difference did it make, does it change the person I am?¬†¬† Things are so different today.¬†¬† My ex never saw me plucking and buffing and waxing and whatever…¬† I always thought men only had to¬†appreciate the finished product and not the mysteries of the bathroom.

Mr¬†Y (to spare his blushes) wanted to know what my legs were like.¬†He told me he was a leg man… was he talking about the part of the chicken he eats?¬† ¬†I told him I had two of them that got me from A to B very nicely.¬†¬† I did do the tit for tat exercise on him when he was trying to guess my cup size from the pic on my profile, only in as much as I asked him how he would feel if¬†women asked¬†him his size.¬†¬† I won’t tell you his response because I managed to stop him before he told me!¬†¬†I told him it doesn’t bother me if a man is tall, short, thin, fat, bald, grey or has a full head of hair, it’s the person inside.¬†¬†¬† Does this mean he would never¬†have contacted me if it was just my face on display¬†and not my boobs too, since it was an upperbody shot. ¬† He said I should¬†send him¬†a full length pic so he can see my legs… yeah right on!

Mr Z was hung up on the fact I am seven years older and said that the difference bothered him and he could never marry anyone older, but we could still go out and have ‘cuddles’ afterwards!¬† How sweet and thoughtful and so considerate!

And… they’re all a little¬†too interested in my settlement and where I live.¬†¬†

A girlfrend of mine, the one who introduced me to this internet introduction thingy, has met a very very nice man who has taken her out to dine very very nicely and to the theatre and he lives miles away from her¬†yet being the gentleman he is insists on picking¬†her up… and he met her family!¬†¬†¬†They are¬†getting on so well I¬†invited her¬†to bring him to the party tomorrow night.

I told her about the probing and leading questions and she can’t believe it; she also can’t believe why I don’t just slam the phone down on them, but I think deep down I keep hoping that out of all this there may be a meeting of minds.¬†¬† Actually the one I believed had the potential to be a match of minds was the one who was in Israel who said he would contact me when he got home.¬†¬† He¬†hasn’t!¬†¬†¬† I have actually told them that if they’re looking for gorgeous and glamorous then I am not the match for them.

Then there’s the¬†one who got me to call him while he was away from home on business.¬† He’s home now.¬†¬†Should I ask him if¬†he is¬†playing truth or dare?¬†¬† The truth being that I was merely an amusing diversion whilst he was holed up in a hotel alone for a while; the dare being… dare he meet me?¬†¬† I don’t think so!¬†¬†¬†I know the¬†truth even though it hurts.

This sure does nothing for one’s¬†self-esteem, so exactly what is it about me that attracts these pervs?¬†¬†¬† That’s a rhetorical question… do NOT answer!¬† ūüė•

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Brrrrrr… this is Neve Daniel yesterday or maybe the day before; I saw these pics when I got home from work last night.¬† Neve Daniel is on the top of a hillside; it is high up and it seems it’s¬†only there and the north of¬†Israel that¬†got snowed in.¬†¬† I sure hope it’s gone by the time I arrive… I do not like the snow and it doesn’t like me.¬† I am not a pretty sight struggling on the ice and slipping and landing¬†on my **** but it looks like Boaz is having fun and I thought it was cold here.¬†¬† Talking of which, I sure appreciate the seat warmer in my car ūüôā

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I’m¬†trying to lose weight again.¬†¬†¬† My weight is usually stuck at a very neat round figure, but I¬†really need to neaten it down a neat round stone at least (that is 14lbs for you yanks).¬†¬† It reaches a plateau and¬†when I exceed it, those few naughty pounds¬†generally come off easily, but¬†sliding downhill off the plateau¬†is proving tricky.¬†¬† Yoyo dieting¬†is my¬†problem so my metabolic rate is lethargically slow and my body is used to low fat and low cals that it takes very little naughtiness¬†to gain weight and a diet of bugger all to lose it.

Recently I¬†found a¬†programme called Diet Doctors; Inside and Out which is¬†most interesting.¬† The participants are all, obviously, overweight, but they also have health issues that need to be addressed.¬† Apart from one very stupid woman who irritated me no end¬†since¬†she said¬†she learnt nothing new¬†because they didn’t tell her¬†anything she didn’t already know.¬† She¬†refused to give up smoking even though she’d had a thrombosis when she was 11 and she refused to put into practice their diet and exercise advice,¬†that she actually gained weight… doh!¬†¬†¬† Twelve¬†weeks later everyone else’s¬†health is much improved and they look wonderful.

After watching the programme I am filled with great resolve to be a good girl¬†until I turn over and watch Nigella.¬† I think Nigella is a bit like Marmite… you either love her or hate her.¬†¬† I enjoyed Nigella Bites, but Nigella Express was… well… weird.¬†¬† She loves cooking (so do I) and she loves her food (so do I).¬†¬† Why is life so complicated?

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In am struggling with my book, We Need to Talk About Kevin, and the meeting is next week.   It has become something akin to homework and I never did like homework.  I have been told to persevere because there is a twist, but I am wondering whether to skip to the end, google it and crib or wait and be put out my misery.  Watch this space!

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Another week, so here’s the latest on my foray into internet dating,¬†although I have actually yet to meet any of these men in the flesh so to speak.¬† They all sweet talk.¬† They all flatter.¬† They all shmooze.¬† They all talk about tactile and passion.¬† So, I still get these emails¬†every day, or several times a day,¬†¬†saying “we have matches for you” which is a loada baloney.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†The youngsters are still at it, but I ignore them.¬† I¬†told Jamie about the 31 year olds and he shifted about somewhat embarrassed then told me that apparently some of Jon’s peers used to fancy me when they were like 15 or 16.¬† That was about 15 years ago… UGH!¬†

Still¬†¬†I have corresponded with a couple of seemingly nice men, having made the¬†initial contact myself.¬†¬† This dating group’s motto is “it’s okay to make the first move.”¬†¬†¬†The first guy I tried¬†told me that timing is everything and I’m too late; he’d met someone, so I just wished him luck.¬† I wasn’t sure¬†whether to add that if it fell apart, you know… but I didn’t want to seem too pushy.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†

Then I saw another profile that read well.¬†¬† I emailed him and¬†my parting words were that I would still appreciate the courtesy of a reply even if it’s to tell me I’m not his cup of tea.¬†¬† He did reply and said he’d like to correspond, but he’s¬†in Israel at the moment and will be back next week.¬†¬† I answered him, but haven’t heard another word!¬†¬†¬†

Today I read another profile I liked, so tried again.¬†¬†¬† This guy actually IM’d me back immediately, but he happened to be in Miami and will also be back in the country next week, so we chatted for a while until he asked me to telephone him.¬†¬† I did, but the hotel wouldn’t put me through without a surname and I only knew his first name.¬†¬† He told me.¬†¬† It was Cohen.¬†¬† Ah… that opens a whole new¬†can of worms.¬†¬†

A Cohen is a descendent from Aaron, the brother of Moses,¬†who was a priest.¬† Although today most of the priestly duties no longer exist, a Cohen is prohibited from marrying a divorced woman.¬†¬† In fact I read another profile I liked and as an afterthought¬†this man had¬†actually written¬†that no divorcees should contact him.¬†¬†¬† The point is I am looking for a fairly observant man because, well¬†I am, but this truly pains me.¬† It is Jewish law and I have to accept it (not that I’m sure I want to marry anyway, although all the men I’ve spoken to believe¬†that’s what all the women want).¬† Of course, it’s not a problem if you’re not orthodox because there are plenty of Liberal/Reform/Conservative alternatives.

The funny thing is that coincidentally and¬†without exception, all these men are younger than me; so… all in all very interesting, but¬†I won’t hold my breath.¬†¬†

Right, must move myself as the mob will be here any minute and I’ve still got to set the table.¬†¬† I hope I get round to seeing¬†ya’all¬† and you and yours have a superduper weekend and Shabbat Shalom.¬†¬†

P.S.  Later today

I have a confession and likely it’s not much different to most ladies who¬†have a problem with body image and a loathing for a particular part of¬†their body, although in my case it’s¬†most of it.¬†¬† ¬†I caught another prog tonite and¬†typical of me, it was the last in the series, so I hope it gets repeated.¬†¬† It was something like looking good naked, but the woman who thought she looked naf and wore her hubbies baggy t-shirts had a wonderful hour-glass figure… and she was young…. and¬†she was beautiful. HUH!¬†¬† But, there were about 100 women of all ages, shapes and sizes happily¬†prancing around in their underwear in front of the cameras…¬†¬†this got me thinking, again…

…¬†because

every single man I have¬†spoken to¬†from this online dating thingy is obsessed with my body, asking an assortment of questions about my size, my weight, what kinda clothes I wear, where I shop, how trendy am I, do I wear high heels, makeup, lipgloss, even my¬†vital statistics¬†and¬†remarking how titchy I am because I’m only 5’0″ tall short (I think petite sounds so much nicer)¬†and exactly just how fat cuddly am I, that I¬†invariably come off the phone feeling uncomfortable and inadequate and thinking it would probably be best if we don’t ever actually meet because they are sure gonna be¬†in for a mega disappointment.¬†

Today’s guy saw my picci from Jamie’s wedding and guessed I was¬†a size¬†10 (a U.S. size 6)… yeah well I was once and those clothes are now lurking in an abandoned wardrobe in one of my spare bedrooms; I certainly wasn’t last summer.¬†¬† It’s now becoming an art form in how to avoid answering these questions and suggesting that a little mystery is no bad thing.¬†¬† Next time I shall be a little more assertive and¬†on the offensive¬†and ask the next¬†poor guy¬†why it’s so important to him… that should be interesting!¬† This is quite a learning curve and would I be so bold?

Do¬†I ask them the size of their chest, their neck measurement, whether they’re bald or hirsute, how old their pic is on their profile, their weight or especially¬†the size of their hands and¬†feet¬†so I can maybe¬†gauge the size of their¬†dangly bits?¬†¬† No, of course, I don’t, that would be plain rude.¬† ¬† Let’s take our dearest darling¬†Vincent D’Onofrio… yes let’s take him.¬†¬†¬† Most of his fans first¬†discovered him as the quirky uberhero ultra intelligent big big big Bobby Goren¬† and over seven seasons he is obviously older, like by¬†seven years, but he is also fatter cuddlier and¬†greyer his hair is salt and pepper and the wrinkles frownlines are appearing and he is still under 50… but..

…¬† have we stopped loving him?¬† NO NO NO!¬†

…¬† do we still fancy the pants off him?¬†¬† YES YES YES!

Vincent¬†is not classically handsome; the Hollywood stereotype.¬†¬† You can’t put your finger on exactly what it is that makes him attractive to millions of women; he just has that je ne sais quoi that exudes masculinity and sexuality, but to me so does Patrick Stewart and Alan Rickman and Colin Firth and Bill Nighy¬†and none of them look alike.¬†¬† So my question is,¬†why are these men¬† so¬†preoccupied with looks when it’s something impalpable, intangible and elusive¬†that draws two people together, and often two unlikely people?¬†


P.P.S.¬† The almost Vincent lookalike has still not opened my email; maybe he’s one of online dating’s success stories ūüėČ


the loves of my life

at the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet ~~~ plato

thank you…

... to everyone whose pictures and videos I have borrowed; if anyone would like theirs to be removed, please tell me and I shall be happy to do so

all words here are mine ~ I’ll tell you when they’re not!

from long ago

in case I forget what day of the week it is

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