Why have a blog if I don’t use it?
Posted on: 28 November 2008
A dear friend has suggested the reason I’ve not blogged for a while is because I don’t have a life – I think she may be right, especially when the highlight of my life this week was my excitement at filling my tank up for just under £40.00 – albeit with the benefit of 5p off a litre from a Tesco coupon – reducing the price to under 90p… wow! At first I was so excited to see petrol go below £1.00 a litre and am always comparing prices in my neck of the wood to those of North London where my car seems to go on autopilot round the North Circular, but it’s still an extortionate price so, excuse the pun when I say, they still have us over a barrel.
I’m still doing book club and last month’s read was my choice. I’ve always loved the writing style of Isabel Allende and hoping my friends would share my taste, I resurrected an old fav of mine, The House of the Spirits. Allende’s writing is so colourful and this book moved at a fast pace through four generations. One character who plays no great part, but is alluded to, is called the Poet and he was probably based on Pablo Neruda whose work moves me so much. When I had my London~Love~Vincent blog I felt his following poems perfectly mirrored Robert E Howard’s highs and lows in his relationship with Novalynne. As many of you know, I love poetry and I love Vincent D’Onofrio and I love TWWW; I shall never waiver from my belief that Vincent’s portrayal of REH was his absolute uber-best performance.
Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines
Pablo Neruda
Write, for example, “The night is starry and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.”
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms. I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too. How could one not have loved her great still eyes?
Tonight I can write the saddest lines. To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her. The night is starry and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer. My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees. We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her. My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another’s. She will be another’s. As she was before my kisses. Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her. Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer and these the last verses that I write for her.
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
Pablo Neruda
I do not love you except because I love you; I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it’s you the one I love; I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume My heart with its cruel ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you
Because I love you,
Love, in fire and blood.
********************
Guess where I’ll be this time next week…
12 Responses to "Why have a blog if I don’t use it?"
2 | bawdywench
28 November 2008 at 12:31
Now that’s more like it! Getting some ideas for a novel about the riveting life of yours truly. Can’t wait to see you in less than a month. Yikes!
3 | Brian
28 November 2008 at 12:38
You have a rich and varied life Ann filled with love and adventure. 🙂
Off to work, should be home by 6.
Talk to you this Sunday I hope.
Love
4 | ann
28 November 2008 at 12:59
*waving* furiously back at you Tamara – hope all’s good in your world
Rose, I am soooo excited – we’re gonna have fun fun fun
Brian, for sure we’ll talk – you were fast asleep when I rang yesterday. Have a good day dahling
5 | Val
28 November 2008 at 15:29
To be fair, Ann, I subsequently admitted that actually you don’t post because you DO have a life!
I don’t watch any of those programmes that float your boat. But I do agree with you about TWWW. And what lovely, poignant poems. Makes me want to hug him – but Vincent, of course, not REH.
I don’t “do” plastic carriers any more. I have cloth shopping bags and a shopping trolley. The old reuse thing is catching on slowly, but when I started refusing bags, they were still made of paper (I have a Friends of the Earth badge to prove it).
Have a great trip. You will have even more to post when you come back 🙂
Oh, and is your “cheeky girl” the one who was engaged to Lembit Opik, the famous Scrabble Clue?
6 | doulangel
28 November 2008 at 20:06
Ann!! SOoooo good to have you back on board:) Enjoy your time in Florida, I’ll be thinking of you being on our side of the pond!
I have lot’s of cloth bags, but most of the time forget to take them w/ me shopping(!)
hugs-kris
7 | Akelamalu
28 November 2008 at 21:14
I love SCD and XFactor Too!
I was shocked when Laura was booted off and agree that Alexandra is THE best. I’m not keen on JLS but I do love Duncan from Blue. How old is he? Am I old enough to be his grandmother? I don’t care he’s dishy!
The photograph of your angels is just so precious Ann.
For someone who seems to think you don’t have much going on in their life you sure wrote a lot! LOL I enjoyed reading every word. x
8 | ann
29 November 2008 at 13:29
val, those poems seem to fit so well the ups and downs and the raw emotions of their relationship. My cheeky girl is just my cheeky girl with her cute grin and glorious giggles – she’d better not turn out like the other one(s) LOL
kris, oh I’m gonna have a ball. I don’t usually forget the bags, but I put them in the boot and forget to take them in the shop with me… doh!
Akelamalu, of course you’ve not old enough to be his grandmother, just his mum. I’d love to have a toy boy but I always say I mustn’t be so old I could be their mother – don’t think my kids would approve
9 | JoJo
1 December 2008 at 18:21
I admit I’ve lost a lot of interest in blogging thanks to Facebook. But the other thing is that I simply have zero to talk about, except bad news. The economy, Brian’s being out of work for the last 5 months…..it’s neverending.
But glad to see that you are back and your trips sound like a lot of fun!!!
XOXO
11 | Madi
9 December 2008 at 22:08
You say you have no life?! Well, I think it’s exactly the other way around, cos it sure sounds a lot more exciting than mine :))
Have a safe trip and have a great time! 🙂
12 | Marcia
27 December 2008 at 15:37
No life? Quite the contrary, I think. Your grandchildren are adorable, I see why your face lit up when you mentioned them at lunch.
And by the way, I thought you looked great. Hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.
at home with ann 
28 November 2008 at 08:08
Hey there Ann! *waves*
Just wanted to peek in and say hello. *Hello!*
Awww, the two are so cute on that picture. I wish you so much fun on your trip and now you’re also warm which is nice. 😉
Hugs