at home with ann

Monday I dragged my feet like a reluctant and recalcitrant schoolgirl back to my writing class – a new term, a new class, a new teacher.   I was trying to justify every good reason for a no show – the course had been paid for, the money long gone, but the bottom line was that I simply could not be bothered.   Shopping lists, christmas cards, cheques, sporadic posts here and an odd (in every sense) comment there,  just about sums up the extent of my writing since breaking up last November.   You’d think with the number of vegetative days since the snows began I would have taken the opportunity to knuckle down and be creative – huh – it don’t work like that!   

The fact is I felt I’d lost my mojo and couldn’t face sitting in a class of  talented wannabes, my pen frozen in the air above the snowy white virgin sheet of paper and everyone else keen eager beavers.    Still I did make it ; the new teacher is a darling, it was great to see friends from last term and some newbies.  It was rather amusing seeing their young and enthusiastic faces enter the room – you could tell there was an element of shock when they saw the number of wrinklies and thought they were in the wrong place.  However as for not writing, I was not alone – no one else had and we all felt the same!

You see I blame the weather.   It’s odd how it changes one’s psyche.   We’ve all heard of SAD, seasonal affective disorder –  not that it particularly affects me apart from my usual moan that it goes against nature to get up from a warm cosy bed when it’s still dark out there.   It’s the psychological affect of snow; the feeling of being cut off and isolated that equates with hibernation; the desire to hole up and hide away and basically do nothing.   Now I live a fairly solitary life in any event, but somehow this is different.   

Last Wednesday was horrendous and my plans were scuppered so I chilled indoors, cooked and wrote a post.    By the time I got home from work last night, my road was ice free – the garden still pretty as a winter wonderland and the underlying perils gone.  

Today is another Wednesday – another non-working day – another night of snow and we’re back to square 1! 

As I’m typing, I’m watching it coming down from the warmth of my bed, the sky the same colour as the housetops and the road an ice rink again, but today I will not give in so easily.   Wisdom dictates I don’t do the North Circular, so sorry mother, another day not taking you to Brent X –  it wasn’t so much the getting there, but the getting home.    Still this vegetating has to stop.  Life has to go on.  

Tonight I have a meeting about my next official trip to Israel – driving on icy roads is one thing, doing it at night and I’m a real wimp, but it’s important.   Many of you will remember last year’s trip well I’m doing it again.   I’m looking forward to finding out this year’s itinerary and meeting my fellow travellers.     I should like to revisit Rachel’s Tomb and pray harder this time  –  I’ll leave it at that for now.   I heard we’ll be visiting Sderot, rocket attacks permitting.   I know this time round it will be a larger group, so I expect we shall have an armed escort and travel on a bullet-proof bus and  I know we shall be seeing Liore again – I am very excited.   If you have time, please see the video on her link – Liore shines with inner beauty, she is modest, she is brave, she is an angel.

No trip to Israel goes without seeing my family, so of course I shall be staying on.   Actually most trips are only about seeing them and weddings, talking of which,  Jon and Bridgitte celebrate their 6th anniversary tomorrow, the baby is due very very soon – like around Boaz’s birthday and he’s gonna be 5 next week – I can’t wait to see them all – so many wonderful blessings.    Coincidentally Jamie was due on Jon’s birthday, a long long time ago, except he came early – my husband wanted me to hang in there so he would then be born on his birthday the following day – yeah right!   As it was I  ended up living in a household with three typical Aries men! 

chez moi - october 2009

Now I really am gonna move myself – the chores and errands won’t go away and they don’t do themselves!

~~~ooOoo~~~

HOT OFF THE PRESS — just heard that probate has been granted on the home jamie and lucy want to buy – guess it looks like I really will be moving – heeeeeeelp!!!!!