at home with ann

Archive for December 2006

Nothing to say
Not anymore
Inside screaming
Innards raw
No one knows
And no one cares
They only see the face she wears
Smiles sweet
But it’s all a lie
Charm personified
When deep inside
All she truly wants to do
Is simply curl up and die
She always claims
What you see is what you get
But she knows the truth
Hiding behind
A veil
A screen
A mesh

copyright 2006 ann raven

Firstly I apologise that the pics of the gullible Guy (sorry Jill no pic), gorgeous Gavin, enigmatic Elton, clerical Casey, murderous Mr Blue, the philandering Philip, delectable Doc, mean Max, even meaner Moriarty, haughty Hathaway and one of my ab fab favs, the brilliant Bob E Howard did not materialise, and others I may have not mentioned… thank you blogger… NOT!

However, these blogger did oblige…. thank you said grudgingly

For Axe… her beloved cruel Carl

I’m sure thunderthighs Thor does it for some ~ how old, or rather, young was he here?
For jojo… beautiful Billy
For Finn… acerbic Ashton
… and the wonderful Whitney
for Tess… the arresting and arrested Abbie
for all of us I think… compelling Cholo … swoon
Deb loves Valentino… mmmm me too

Bobby’s Harem… Jen, Kate et moi… ooooh

and of course the original… our uber-hero

To kickstart the New Year, I thought I would pose a question for my dear fellow Vincent Vixens, or D’Onofrio Dames and the Bobby Harem. There is no doubting that each of us in our own unique way loves, adores, worships this awesome man and the fantastic characters he has created.

Personally for me it is Bobby Bobby; Vincent has made this man his own… I don’t believe any other actor would have pulled it off so brilliantly…. erm…. probably why he got the job… doh!

His acuity, aptitude, astuteness, incisiveness, intuition, brain, I shall repeat it, yes I love his brain, does it for me. Not a single word meaningless, not a single gesture worthless… his stance, his presence, his whole being has captivated me.

I confess, I do have a little penchant for wicked fantasies with Cholo, the Professor and Mr Blue now and again, and in more gentle mode Valentino and Whitney have been known to make an appearance…sometimes with Ashton, oh my!

As for *the man* himself, Vincent, Vincent, Vincent….. uh uh….. NO! On the rare occasion he has entered my dreamworld, I have awoken shaken and upset. He does not belong there. I have set him up on a higher pedestal. I do not know him; I imagine a sweet soul, a loving nature a great sense of humour and a temper…. he is a man.

Last night whilst extolling to a friend the ecstatic and almost orgasmic pleasure I had just experienced making oral love with a piece of Tesco’s Finest Espresso Chocolate (thanks Wendy, it is the best), the friend I was talking to suddenly asked me if I could have Bobby or chocolate, which would it be. Was he joking? I answered instantly Bobby Bobby, but hastily and sadly added that Bobby is not real (which is probably why I eat so much chocolate ~my only pleasure) and that if it was Vincent, as much as a dreamer as I am, a part of me is a realist to know it could and would never be. Sure I would love to meet the man and engage in a real conversation, but no no no no….. not the other. I am not saying I would refuse, I just so know he wouldn’t be propositioning me anything. So back to the question……..

What is your fantasy, what do you dream, who do you dream, when do you dream, morning, noon or night, or all day… is it HIM or one of his characters that does it for you, turns you on, makes you squirm, makes you wriggle in your seat, finger to your mouth, blood boiling, pulse racing, juices flowing?

So please join in on this flight of fancy, fantasy and fun…. you can comment anonymously of course. Fantasies are meant to be secret. Note… I haven’t revealed my fantasies yet, just the fantasy man. Just one little itsy bitsy request… if you can refrain from using… r-u-d-e words, please. There are euphemisms for almost everything I am sure. I would love this to be fun and funny but not offensive… thank you.

For my lovely visitors who are not Vincent D’Onofrio fans, please join in too…. let us know your fantasy, your dream guy or dream gal.

However you welcome in 2007, be it with family or friends or curled up in front of the tv watching Vincent, glass of wine in hand, or in my case chocolate, I wish you all a wonderful New Year and may all your dreams come true.

Aromatic smells
Bustling sounds
Still the same
Stuck in a time warp
Nothing’s changed
Since a lifetime ago
Did time stand still
If only…
I am not that same young girl
What if…
We meet again
We do
We do meet again
That awkward kiss
A world away from
The last time
How many years since
Thinking it would be
The last time
The last time ever
Black curtains
Lights out
Save the sirens wail
Bombs overhead
Bullets beneath our pillow
Guns under our bed
Our quickened breath
Our fevered flesh
Clinging arms
Entwined legs
Seeking comfort
As one we laid
To move away
In case it was
The last time
Your thrust embedded deep
Afraid to sleep
And then the call to serve
And mine
To return home
I wait
No letter
No phone
No nothing
No email then
Are you alive
Are you dead
I met
I wed
I bed another
And now we meet
Thirty years on
Thirty years gone
I am not that same young girl
Nor you
My handsome soldier
It’s for the best
We met
But it’s for
The last time

copyright 2006 ann raven

Heathrow was chaos… thank G-d for ElAl. They have their own area for check in, as we walked past queue after queue of p***ed off holiday flyers. Then ElAl has its own hand luggage x-ray thingy… bless them. “Are you ElAl… well come this way” Still an uneventful flight, which is how it should be, and we are welcomed at baggage reclaim by Lubavitch proferring doughnuts. So while my dear mother stands back stuffing her face, I’m practically being hauled onto the carousel trying to schlep off the luggage.

What a difference a week makes… see the difference in the weather from last week when we were there and the sun shone gloriously in Jerusalem and the pictures below taken yesterday…. their first snow.

Moriah enjoying her Tigger swing. We had a lovely time at the mall shopping at Toys R Us and I was so shocked when Bridgitte chose this as she is vehemently anti Winnie. I maintain she sees my beloved bear as a Disney character whereas it is one of my childhood favourites more down to A A Milne than Walt. I was even more shocked to see stencils of Winnie in Boaz’s bedroom, so she is coming round… at last.

Boaz picked himself out some Bob the Builder toy…. I know I took tons of stuff out with me, because the prices in Israel are astronomical, but a day at the mall in Chanukah is great fun and grandmas are meant to spoil their grandchildren, aren’t they? There are loads of fun activities for children set up as I squeezed my ample rear (or as Dewy would say, rounded assets) into a tiny little chair and played with lego. Bridgitte didn’t think I could get that low or fit in… I showed her!

On this day we were thinking of shopping, but the weather was so beautiful we headed off to the Biblical Zoo instead. I hadn’t visited there in eleven years and the place is still as wonderful, although we didn’t get that far round since we decided to take the babies on the choo choo train. If you can’t make them out, they are swans in the background. Boaz and I had great fun imitating the monkeys.

No that is not me and Bridgitte rushing for the train, it’s greatgrandma (not bad for 83) and grandma (not bad for ??) pushing the buggy… sorry… stroller. Who do you think is taking the pic…. Bridgitte of course.

Boaz was not too sure about the ride, but I enjoyed it. I know I don’t usually post pics of me, but since I’ve announced to the world that I am short fat and ugly, I thought I would prove it. My intention is to lose weight before the wedding, or sooner ‘cos I have to buy *the dress* so then I will just be short, less fat and ugly.

This was our hotel in Jerusalem… the Inbal. It’s excellent, always full of you yanks and it’s in an area called Yemin Moshe. You can see the Moses Montefiore windmill on the left. Ze lo rachok mi…. ooops sorry… it’s not far and in walking distance to the Old City and Ben Yehuda Street where I went to visit my lovely little Iranian friend. I only buy gifts from him, so if anyone is going to Israel, he has the best prices and he is charming…. unfortunately he doesn’t speak a word of English, so I’ll tell you how to say ‘Ann sent me.’

Yes this is Jerusalem (well a hillside on the outskirts of) yesterday. I have a very brilliant grandson… there aren’t many of 23 months who could build a snowman.

Do you like his Thomas the Tank hat and scarf (tallit as he calls it), although don’t tell me they’ve lost the matching gloves already. Of course I bought it for him… only £10 in Mothercare and he loved it. Now I wish they would pick up the snowjacket I sent over with friends a month or so ago, I think the little chap is gonna need it.

Aaaah, Moriah all snugged up as a bug in a rug. I know, I know I am biased, but she is an absolute sweetheart. Her photos do not do her justice; she is so calm and easy going and laughs and giggles all the time…

Well this is the first part… got more pics at the Dead Sea, so will bore you with those next week, but just to tell you I had some wonderful treatments; so well scrubbed, buffed and polished you could see your face in my shiny… mmmmmm.

Well that’s it for now other than to say I totally freaked out when I heard James Brown had died. I saw Lucy last night and she felt the same, since we only saw him strut his stuff about five weeks earlier at the UK Hall of Fame Awards.

Thank you blogger for being co-operative in the end. I have posted some REH and something called a sestina. Real poets will know what it is…. I didn’t, but I do now.

Have a lovely weekend, Shabbat Shalom and if I don’t post again (although I may since I have a question I want to ask my fellow vdo fans… one to start the New Year rolling… LOL) I pray you and yours are all blessed with a Happy Healthy and Peaceful New Year.

This is my first attempt at a sestina style poem, inspired by my dear friend and muse Brian. I have written two, but guess it’s one at a time… in any case, neither are particularly good! In truth I had never heard of this before ~ showing my shameful ignorance here. I read over and over his amazing work and then googled for more information. It meant following a pattern and an order, not easy for someone like me who has no self-discipline. My ramblings, a better word to use than poetry, are just that… the thoughts that spring from my heart and my head with no style, order, pattern or discipline…. so here goes!


his life ambition no less than to see the world
regale all who will listen to his story
events both trivial and those of value
since childhood holding fast to his dream
to circle this glorious globe; now a full grown man
his journey is more precious to him than any glittering jeweleach new sight encountered shines as a brilliant jewel
each new wonder he discovers of the world
he engages the words of any willing man
he meets, he listens enraptured by their story
some he knows are true, some he knows are their dream
every single one he takes to his heart to value

in awe he sails the seven seas to marvel, to value
glimmering hues of blue, green as sapphires and emerald jewel
new desire unlocks to adorn pretty gems on the girl of his dream
will he perchance upon his one true love in this world
voyage; their homecoming replete, completed by a shining story
of passion, romance, an exotic maiden and her erotic man

in a far away land he falls in love; takes a bride this man
to treasure, cherish, take pleasure in, protect, value
with pride, honour, delight she heeds his story
of how he wooed her like a princess, a priceless jewel
she the most exquisite wonder of his world
and the answer to his every waking dream

as one they fly to far flung shimmering shores in a dream
like state; his sparkling bride his guide becomes and shows her man
a righteous road, to make a difference to the world
devote, dedicate, bestow and give of value
their time, their energy, their inspiration to create a caring jewel
of kindness, compassion, to leave a legacy of good their story

no more a mere travelogue, now an heroic story
of helping hands who make true the dream
of poor souls suffering, offering the most precious jewel
bread, medicine, aid to every child, woman, man
in need; accepting, understanding the veritable value
of what truly truly counts today in our world

many many moons later the epic story unfolds of a wise and honourable man
whose life’s burning hope and dream brought him the greatest wisdom of all, to value
each and every man of each and every colour, country, creed as a wondrous jewel in what may yet become a whole wide wonderful world

copyright 2006 ann raven

and I’ll see Boaz and Moriah on Monday… yippee

Another week has sped by, but then so has this year already … hmmm …

On the radio they are saying ten days to Christmas and I’m thinking to myself that means I’m back home in twelve days and I haven’t even left yet … silly me, maybe I should have booked a longer trip!

I’ve given no thought to the packing. I am very much a last minute person … a euphemism for a lazy cow. Once again if I manage to squeeze a pair of jeans and a couple of skirts into the case, then I’ll be lucky. My room has been taken over by baby stuff, lots and lots and lots of it and I love playing with the toys. Got Boaz this amazing spinning top… everytime I go past it, I have to give it a whirl. Not sure who’s the bigger baby.

This trip mother is coming and we are not staying with the children on their hillside on the outskirts of Jerusalem… mother refuses to stay there. She says it’s too boring. She is like a little dervish… if she has to sit down for too long, she is bored, bored, bored.

We shall spend a few days in Jerusalem in a *very nice* hotel and then all of us, four generations, are heading off to the Dead Sea for hopefully some sun, sea, sand (sadly none of the other *S* boo hoo) and lots of salt… oh yes, yummy salt scrubs and mud wraps and relaxing massages… now should I let a man do me? I always think yes, go for it girl and then chicken out… dare I this year… oooooh I don’t know.

Chanukah in Jerusalem is very special and delightful. I remember a trip eleven years ago when we were at The Western Wall on the last night. The Chanukiah was ablaze; it was a glorious spectacle. There is a wonderful atmosphere; the schools are closed and there are hundreds of children around. In the hotels they serve doughnuts and drinks and there’s dancing. I must be the only fat person I know who doesn’t do doughnuts…. I don’t do fried food, although I hear Krispy Kreams are baked… nah, still don’t think I’ll like them!

I shall try and come by and visit everyone before I leave… I apologise if I have been a little remiss lately and blogger has been a b***er too.

I’ve left a song by Police for Guy … haven’t posted lyrics in ages.

Also a soppy sappy rhyme called New Woman. No comment on that one; think it’s pretty self-explanatory. I am reviewing my excuse for a poetry blog… erm… I am thinking maybe my scribblings should be for personal consumption only. For any poetry lovers, I mean the good stuff not my rubbish which doesn’t qualify as poetry, there are some amazing sites to visit.

Back to the holiday… I shall end with a little true story.

On one of our flights to Israel, as the plane landed the pilot began the customary thank for you for flying ElAl blah blah blah bit. However, instead of saying, “Please remain in your seats until the aircraft has stopped and the seatbelt signs are off, ” he said, “Thank you for flying ElAl and on behalf of the crew I should like to wish the passengers who are seated a Merry Christmas, and for those who are standing Happy Chanukah.”

The whole plane burst out laughing. I think ElAl is probably the only airline that when we land people applaud and sometimes the passengers burst into song. Fantastic…. beef or chicken…

On that silly note, I wish each and every one of you and yours much joy and happiness as you celebrate your holiday.

Happy Chanukah, Happy Christmas, Shabbat Shalom and have a lovely weekend.

New Woman

Posted on: 15 December 2006

Like a dried up snake
Could I shed my skin
Don’t much like the one I’m in
Would I emerge
Svelte and slim
Or trade in another part
This shrivelled heart
And pump fresh blood
And kick-start
This shoddy old body
And while I’m at it
Discard lachrymose eyes
That no longer disguise
Emotions within
Bright and brilliant they would view
The world anew
And no one would know
Can I rid myself
These damaged parts
Purge my feeble fragile traits
Akin to today’s new man
Could new woman I create

copyright 2006 ann raven

Twas the night before Chanukah, as it is said

And Santa was sitting and hocking his head
He had all the toys wrapped up nice in his zeckel
For maidlach and boys to give each one a peckel

The reindeer were saddled and ready to fly
Like a crew of brave astronauts all through the sky
But Santa was starving to eat a good meichel
Some regular food that would stick to his beichel

Not plum cakes or mincemeat or peppermint candy
But some kosher cooking he thought would be dandy
So he called to his reindeer, “Hey, kinder, let’s go
To a Jewish balbusta and don’t be so slow.

“The house had no chimney, so he went through the door
And kissed the mezzuzah and jumped on the floor
Then the man of the house said, “Santa you devil
Come on, don’t be shy and see our split level

The night is still early, there’s plenty of zeit
So come in the den and please have a bite
If only we knew you were coming, by gosh
But I’ll call out the wife and she’ll give you a nosh

A slice of stuffed derma, a few little strudels
Some chicken salami, some flanken with noodles
Some blintzes, some kreplach, some lox and bialy
A bissel chopped herring, an end piece of chaleh

And if all of these goodies don’t fill up your gatkes
Last but not least, some Chanukah latkes.”
“A latke?” cried Santa, “what is this delight?”
On the outside it’s golden and inside it’s white.

On the outside so crisp and inside it’s yummy
And he gobbled them up ’til he filled his fat tummy.
Then they gave him a dreidel and showed him the plays
And he took a menorah to light for eight days

And to give Santa some spirit and to show how they felt
For mazel they gave him some Chanukah gelt.
He beamed and he chuckled and said “Kine-ahaora,
I don’t want to feel like a Chanukah schnorrer

To show you how much I enjoyed your Jewish snack
I’m leaving you everything, even my sack.”
Then he called to his reindeer and said, “Luz mir gehn.”
And each one got ready as he schlepped on the rein

“Giddyap Irving, Hoo Ha Sidney, Hi ho Sadie, Let’s go Minnie,
Onward Gussie, Upward Solly, Ole Becky, Oy Vey Molly.”
And they swore that he yelled as he rode out of sight
“MERRY LATKES” to all and to all a GOOD NIGHT.”

Rough translation of yiddish:
zeckel= bag
maidlach = girl
peckel = coin
meichel = meal
beichel = stomach
kinder = children
balbusta = lady of the house (usually a very nice description)
mezzuzah = Commandments inside a small oblong ornament attached to right side of the door zeit = life
nosh = snack
stuffed derma = cow intestines
flanken = flank steak
blintzes = rolled like a crepe, but stuffed full with fruit & cottage cheese (or something similar)bissel = a little piece
lox = smoked salmon (fish)
bialy = kind of roll, sold with bagels
chaleh = bread
gatkes = guts
latkes = potato pancakes
dreidel = special spinning top, with hebrew letters on the side, used for a game at Chanukah
menorah = candle holder for symbolic Chanukah candle lighting
mazel = luck
gelt = coins
schnorrer = cheapskate, typically used to descibe someonewho always takes, but never gives anything back


Sorry I didn’t post earlier… I actually forgot and I seem to be devoid of original thought… hmmm. Haven’t written a word since a silly ditty on Sunday. Guess all mine are silly ditties. Anyway I found this Chanukah ditty surfing… I do not claim it as mine.


Also apologies to, and for, my dear blogging friends on Beta Blogger. I can’t post comments and I believe I am not alone. So… one of two things; you’re either upset no one has commented or you’re really pleased not to hear from me…. doh!

With or without a simcha buddy the simcha was absolutely wonderful, so everyone tells me. In truth I was not completely relaxed but as they say “it was alright on the night.” The phone has been ringing off the hook all day so guess the affair was good and I did something right for a change.

I’ve just returned half the booze to the off licence… thank goodness for sale or return. Well the weather turned dreadful and bear in mind it was a Jewish function, so good food and hot beverages go down a treat far more than the hard stuff… although quite a dent was made in the scotch…hmmm… I have my suspicions. Yes, the ex’s *fond of a drink Ferrari driving lech* cousin was there, of course.

I knew there would be more than 200 guests; someone thought nearer 250 came through the doors… wow! The party was held in our local synagogue hall, but Lucy’s brother-in-law is an events manager and he transformed the place. Glittering lights and mood lights made for a very party atmosphere. People came in thinking they were at the wrong venue. Only the previous day were we sitting there eating chulent and kugel after the service.The food was scrumptious… the tables were adorned with the most magnificent flower arrangements. Enormous lilies in giant vases filled with floating fruit… whole fruits; lemons, oranges, apples, whatever!

Yes, but back to the main event of a Jewish simcha… the food. The obligatory bridge rolls and mini bagels, all beautifully presented, but then we had borekas, tiny spring rolls, sushi, dainty kebabs of fresh teriyaki salmon, mini filled pitta bread filled with Mediterranean goodies, little quiches, tiny savoury tartlets, crudités and dips, goujons, and more, much more. The fruit platters looked too good to eat and the pastries were divine my dears… having just scoffed the last one I brought home. It looked kinda lonely sitting there in the fridge all by itself… I just had to, didn’t I?

The diet will begin in the New Year. Any motivators out there prepared to dangle a carrot stick in front of this stubborn donkey? Although I don’t think there is such a word… hmmm!

I am horrendously indecisive so bought two new outfits and still unsure if I made the right choice… but none of you will know because I don’t think my pic was taken. I ended up wearing a rather fetching green outfit; a long flowing skirt in a beautiful fine fabric, a camisole and a little crochet shrug… it brought out the green in my eyes… hmmm! Erm… come to think of it, I haven’t got any pics of anyone yet.

Jamie and Lucy were radiant. They scrubbed up well. All my family and friends who had not yet met Lucy were bowled over and totally charmed by her. I couldn’t wish for a more wonderful future daughter-in-law. I know I am truly blessed that both my sons are sharing their lives with amazing girls and I love them all.

In the meantime I am nursing swollen glands and a sore throat… all that mwahx mwahx I expect. Haven’t got time to be ill… this time next week I will be walking the cobbled streets of Jerusalem pushing the buggy… yeah!!!!!


N.B. Position still vacant for the wedding, 26 July 2007 Herzliya Israel… hint hint Vincent dahling, please, please, pretty please… and this time I really really really will lose weight

It only takes one little thing
To change the course of everything
Good intent to be oh so… good
Unfortunately too quickly overlooked
When something catches corner of her eye
Says to herself, just politely smile
But it is something so ridiculous
That her meticulous
Plans go awry
Is she the only one to see
That gentleman eat the potpourri
Her objective to be a perfect lady again
Exercise poise good bearing dignity refined
Except inside
She’s still a little girl
And she’s watching disaster about to unfurl
Aware there’s a silly smile gracing her face
She has no self-control as gleeful giggles escape
Now all eyes are on her you see
Not on the impending catastrophe
Oh woe is she, the hostess and host
Arm in arm purposefully approach
She’s not laughing now
For somehow
She’s somewhat subdued and rather meek
But they grasp her hand and they kiss her cheek
Mwah mwah à la bourgeois
Oh dahling… don’t change whatever you do
We love you being you

said in English uppercrust voice
blah blah blah
ha ha ha

copyright 2006 ann raven

the loves of my life

at the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet ~~~ plato

thank you…

... to everyone whose pictures and videos I have borrowed; if anyone would like theirs to be removed, please tell me and I shall be happy to do so

all words here are mine ~ I’ll tell you when they’re not!

from long ago

in case I forget what day of the week it is

December 2006